P+W=O

Aggghhhh. What a week. Last week was one of those weeks you can't wait to end, and it seems it will never end. That's not to say it was filled with catastrophe to make it a crap week, just everything was tinged with, well, crapness. Work's been hard - a tough slog of getting through 'things' and getting 'stuff' out and pretending you still work 4 days when you are actually only there 3 days which is an interesting concept given everyone thought you worked 6 days when you worked 4....hmmm, something's wrong there. I've been grumpy too. Tired, heavy, bad hair day hairy legs and under arms grumpy and really low on energy. I attempted baking last weekend and soon realised that function has also been switched off in my brain along with remembering appointment times. The cupcakes didn't quite work out. Look good, taste good, but they're nowhere near 'perfect'. The Whisk and Pin packet scone mix (foolproof I thought) was too crumbly. And I burnt myself again.

The fair aisle twin set has been a little burst of colour and I love the freshness of the colours. It's been a little highlight in my week - deciding colours, imagining it, dreaming it. And that's one of the wonderful things about creating things: it's not just pieces of material or a simple case of pattern + wool = object. The things we make have meaning and substance beyond the ingredient lists of materials and wool, needles and threads. They are extensions of our place in time - emotive, physical, financial. Perhaps some people do make things for the sake of it, but I don't normally do that, and those who responded to my last post don't see it like that either. Each project has a piece of me at that point in time embedded in it. The little baby set I made at New Years was a joyous celebration of the decision to try for another baby. The Loop D Loop scarf was finding new paths, new directions and growing confidence, and the baby cashmere cardigan was a way of bonding back to a mothers love beyond adversity during a particularly hard patch in my pregnancy, the cashmere symbolic of nurturing and comfort which I wanted for my baby, but also for me. I don't always make apparent my reasons for doing things - I take it for granted sometimes the reader understands, or has followed emotional and life experiences to date to make some connections. And nor do I feel I should have to make things explicit. Sometimes I like a long post, sometimes I like to just show off a photo which captures it all for me.

Jane last week wrote a very poignant, and terribly honest and real post about comments on blogs. Particularly the comments which are negative and destructive without justification. In particular the ones which result in hurt for the writer. Jane touches upon this as a broad collective problem increasingly faced by craft bloggers. I couldn't agree more with Jane's observations, and I wrote her a long email supporting her voicing of those opinions. Because it's something I'm acutely aware of on my own blog. I've had negative comments on here - not many and not often, but one recently which really hurt and I took very much to heart. I put a lot of myself out here on the blog - I keep a lot hidden as well, but I do try and be honest about a lot of things going on in my life, and make enough connections without being overt about everything.  I don't feel I have to justify why I do what projects I do, and nor should I justify my choices of material. What I choose to use, or how much I spend on something, or the choices I make, are the choices I make.  And they're often quite emotionally based and relevant to other things going on which I may not have mentioned, or only mentioned in passing.

Everyone has a right to comment on a public blog. I don't take that right away from anyone, and those comments I believe overstep the mark I don't delete, or haven't seen a need to delete to date, although we did switch off comments at backtack because of this problem as well. That means they've got the better of me, and I believe I'm above that. However I would like an opportunity to respond to those comments, and as the author of this blog, I have the right to respond via the comment section or outright in a post. I do ask though that if you choose to comment aggressively, on my blog or anyone else's blog, that you have the strength of conviction of your comments to leave your real name and email address. Otherwise email privately. To comment anonymously is cowardly and adds insult to the statement you're making. I put a great emphasis on the comments I receive here. Given the readership I have, very few people actually comment, so each comment is very special for each post. I take comments and suggestions and questions seriously (although please do not ask me to send you patterns because I will not do that and it's against copyright and not fair on the store owners or pattern writers). I appreciate every person who does comment, and really take to heart those who email me privately. I have made many friends through comments, and many of you have touched real depths with what you have said. And I do get hurt and upset when someone takes a pot shot at my work, or calls my integrity into question. I am public property, and I am not at the same time. I am a real person who puts their work out there in the hope other people like it, or that I might inspire in some way. I don't want to be wary of what I write to appease the minority who don't get it anyway. I want to post and create freely, without questioning. And I'd like everyone who is part of this kind, and warm, and very creative community to get the same treatment.

Comments

[Fiona]

I completely agree. Whilst there's not necessarily anything wrong with constuctive feedback, negative/hurtful comments are completly unnecessary. And for them to be left anonymously is just plain cowardly. I loved Jane's description of the craft blog community as a grown up 'virtual knitting group'. And there's nothing remotely adult about hiding behind the anonymity of the internet to belittle others for some kind of strange personal satisfaction. Blog on, Alison!

[nichola]

Me too. I hope your pregnancy is going well. Take care of yourself and put those feet up.

[Nicole]

Hey Al - The anonymous comments are what get me. Just plain rude. Keep on baking and crafting chick, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. xo Oh by the way, can I have a copy of that pattern that you just paid for? I mean, I know we don't know each other, but I'd really like it and if I flatter you do you think it would help. Sorry, my evil alter ego got the better of me. She's back in her box now.

[Jo]

Well said Al !!!

[Jill]

I couldn't agree more. What kind of world is this becoming? I regularly read a blog written by a dear sweet young lady and she recently posted a picture of herself and her daughter and someone wrote a comment saying she should get a facial. My word! She is a beautiful young woman and I'm sure this mean comment hurt. Well, thanks to people like you who have the strength of character to speak out against this rude practice.

[sooz]

Thanks Alison for your, as usual, considered comments. I understand the complexity of trying to achieve a balance between freedom to speak one's mind and a collective decision to make a safer and more supportive world for us all. It's easy to voice one's personal difference - the choices we wouldn't have made - because we have the 'right' to do so. But in the end I fear too few think about why they do such things, or what they feel they might be accomplished in so doing. Is the hurt, the tension, the caution introduced to the community an acceptable by product? I am really sorry that you have been ont he receiving end of someone's bad day.

In many contexts I am a strong advocate of speaking your mind and promoting healthy debate, but my motivation is always about getting to a better outcome. In political debates for example you really need to hear everyone's views no matter how conflicted because it brings about true democracy.

But I do not craft in search of the 'right' wool or the best 'toy'. There is no outcome to be achieved and no collective goals to be negotiated. I craft for joy, for the chance to create in a way I find personally fulfilling. And I read craft blogs to see others doing the same. To me the positive and encouraging nature of this community is a precious and valuable thing and I would think long and hard about taking any kind of action I thought might threaten that.

[sarah]

here here, thank-you for writing so eloquently on this matter alison xxx

[Rebecca]

I dont often get the time to read all the comments on peoples blogs but since reading Janes post on the matter I have made a point of reading them. I am shocked and outraged that people would do this, it is so rude. I feel so lucky to have found this little world that I can connect to on so many levels. I am delighted that people are generous enough to take the time to share their own corner of it with others.

[Tania Ho]

Alison, although I'm a daily reader of your blog I don't think I've ever commented here before, but this post (like Jane's) struck a deep cord with me. I love this crafty community and all the positive things it brings us, and I can not even begin to understand why some people would have such rude and coward attitudes. I love reading other people's blogs precisely because of their difference and how they show me other points of view that might be the complete opposite of mine (craft wise or not) but which are also one of my greatest inspirations. Anyway, I hope this does not change in any way your blogging ... thanks for speaking up :)

[Kate]

I'll echo the few comments above. I'm so glad there is this little craft world where people can share and I appreciate others putting there stuff out there. I love seeing stuff from people who are different to me, diversity is great - the world would be very boring if we were all the same.

[Strikkelise]

Here here.
I commented on Yarnstorm saying that one should rise above this kind of comments, now I think I have changed my mind.
I do believe that one should avoid getting trapped in some kind of screwed-up polemics with these people. On the other hand, it is important that bloggers and benignant commenters take a stand against this form of harassment.

[bugheart]

i couldn't agree more
and
i feel dreadfully sad
that someone
would leave
a negative or
hurtful
comment
on your blog
or anyone else's blog.
i respect you
and other
craft bloggers
for putting your work
and yourself out there...
i just want you
to know
that you are a great
inspiration to me
and others
and i am so sorry
you experienced
this when you
give so much
of yourself to
your readers.
thank you!

[Bianca]

I hope you get your baking mojo back soon! I hate it when mine disappears. Boo bad comments.

[eireann]

They are a weird phenomenon, the nasty comments. And even worse when (by virtue of anonymity) there is no recourse--even just knowing who thinks what--available.

Anyway, keep on keeping on. :)

[Norma]

I'm sorry (and stunned, frankly) that you have been the victim of harassing comments. I'd like to know more....email me if you get the chance....because I have been blissfully ignorant of them.

[PennyH]

I regularly read your blog but have never commented until now - it is a privilege to enter your world and read about your life, your family, your art and craft work - if people are rude or offensive in their comments then they are revealing more about their own lack of human compassion and nothing about what you are achieving in your life - I find your words and pictures truly inspiratinal and often uplifting in difficult times - please keep it up - I woudl miss you terribly - with grateful thanks.. Penny in UK

[Laura]

I'm so sorry that you have been getting nasty comments too! You and Jane at Yarnstorm are 2 of my favorite craftspeople, and its shocking that someone would want to detroy the sense of community you've created. Her post, and now yours, has hammered home the fact that as a daily reader - but only sometime commenter - I need to step up and comment, to help drown out the negative voices.

Thank you for letting us all in, I look forward everyday to your posts!

[Janice]

Sometimes we (ok, I) get comfortable and put colors or materials together in the same way, over and over again -- until I'm bored to tears. I read blogs like yours to remind me to look at things differently, to try an unusual combination. You're always very inspiring and I thank you for it. Keep doing what you're doing and don't let those who don't understand get you down. (I know, easy for me to say.)

[sarah]

I have been blog reading for many months now and have recently started my own blog ( very tentatively but I have started!! ) and yours has been on my daily read list for some time now. I have never commented before but felt I had to this time, the mean people of this world will always pick and pull apart things which they dont understand or that they wish they could do themselves and I think we shouldn't let the minority ruin it for the rest of us. NEVER stop doing what you do unless YOU want to. Even if what you have made is a pile of crap (lets face it we all have those days!!) even if it is ugly, you have still spent time and energy on it and always ALWAYS something can be learnt from whatever we create...and if these horrid bad comment posters aren't big enough people to learn and allow others to learn and express themselves well.....more fool them. They really are the losers! Keep doing what you do, you do it well and with conviction, and from one lone little blog reader in UK I really enjoy your blog and want you to continue....please :-)

[Kelli]

Rock on sista! I'm cheering for everything you just said, minus the not feeling good part. I hope you are able to rest and cheer up this week!

[KT]

That someone would call into account your integrity is stunning. From what I can tell you have more integrity in your little finger than many people have in their whole body. Also, I love the symbolism of the things you create, it gives me much food for thought about the meaningfulness of what I make. And how I make it. Thank you!

[amanda]

You and Jane have so eloquently said what it sounds like so many of us feel. I couldn't agree more - about all of it. What's said, what's unsaid, the right to comment, and our right and need to respond. I value so much and appreciate each comment I get--I'm so honored that people take up their precious time doing so. But I struggle with the occasional downside of it all- the biggest bummer for me is the underhanded, backsided comments...the very very subtle harshness disguised as compliments but that are quite hurtful. I'm sorry to hear that it sounds like you've experienced that - or more- too. Thank you for putting the thought and energy into this post and for putting it out there for us all to ponder. I appreciate that.

[lisa s]

BRAVO alison! so glad you said what you said... i wonder what is going on w/ the increase in negative comments....

i will go to read jane's post now, but i love what you say here.

thank you. for being you - for being so inspiring and for writing this!!
xo

[caroline]

I started my own blog a month or so ago because of you, Jane and the many other amazingly creative people whose blogs I visit. I wanted to become part of a scene that I felt/ feel on the whole is supportive and nurturing. That's why it is so sad when people do make personal and mean comments.

I enjoy your site immensely - thank you.

[tracy]

here here. thanks for your honesty - and ongoing inspiration.