"All I ever wanted to see was just invisible to me."
The nicest thing someone has said to me in the last few weeks:: "Mummy, I'm going to go into your tummy and get the baby out so you'll feel better". Max's sentiments were right on, even if the actual process would have led to heartbreak. On the one hand there has been relief this week, and on the other, fairly impressive use of stomach muscles. I have cried in utter desperation these last few weeks - desperate is the only word I can use for how I've been feeling. And hence, not so much blogging or nice stuff.
It's been a mammoth exercise for me in between times to write and make a pattern for the book I'm contributing to, alongside writing a piece for it as well. But finally the pattern is done, the end product looks pretty neat, the pattern is drafted out, and the written piece re-edited. And lots of pins were used, that's all I will say about it.
The little baby wrap top is coming along, despite being frogged half way through (note to self: listen to the inner voice which says stop, go back, and start again in a smaller size before you get to the halfway mark) and it will be finished sometime this weekend. I hope. Then I really should pick up Max's Charlie sweater again and get that going. And some socks - I am drowning in sock wool - and wound some of the Rohrspatz and Wollmeise wool to start on...it looks even better wound than on the skein, so I'm eager to see it knit.
Remember a few weeks ago (well, quite a few weeks ago now) I went wandering to see who was reading my blog from Lichtenstein and ended up spending money because of beautiful wools on show? I love seeing who reads from what country in my blog stats, and at the time I said Turkey was next on the hit list. Well, let me introduce a blog I cannot understand but which has beautiful food pictures none the less and recipes I cannot ever make unless I learn Turkish. There is a potato dish in a recent post which a) looks fabulous, and b) has a really nice bowl. Every new post makes me hungry for simple clean food, and I leap to read when I see they've updated in bloglines.
And now I think I need a little lie down.
feet up, rest when you can (kinda hard with a toddler about tho) bub will be out and in your arms before you know it (except for maybe in those last couple of weeks that feel like they drag on FOREVER) can't wait to see the wrap, i'm sure it's gorgeous
Posted by: taryn | March 23, 2006 at 06:14 PM
It always give me a note of satisfaction when my son says something so endearing, it makes all the bad things just melt away. Sounds like your little one has that effect too. Get some rest. We'll still be here!
Posted by: AJ | March 23, 2006 at 07:48 PM
I hope all is well and you're resting as much as you can. Take good care of yourself.
Posted by: nichola | March 23, 2006 at 11:42 PM
be kind to yourself, you are "creating" even when you rest and lie down...
Posted by: brenda | March 24, 2006 at 01:24 AM
i really feel for you. i had a miserable first trimester with my second child. labor and giving birth were a piece of cake compared to those ten weeks when i could barely stand. good news: once i made it into my second trimester i had an incredibly healthy and active remainder of my pregnancy. i lost 10 pounds at the beginning, but ended up gaining 70 (!) after that (and lost it all in the first few months of breastfeeding). hang in there! strong hormones mean a strong pregnancy. your body is taking care of baby...make sure others are taking care of you.
Posted by: Stephanie | March 24, 2006 at 02:47 AM
oh dear... i'm w/ max.... i wish there was a quick fix we could provide for you.....
take good care!
Posted by: lisa s | March 24, 2006 at 04:09 AM
Ooh, I'm sending you lots of happy, good feeling thoughts. I hope today you are surprised with excellent baked goods, a foot rub and a well-behaved child. All that and your husband should make dinner and clean the house too.
Boy, those are good feeling thoughts. ;)
Posted by: Kelli | March 24, 2006 at 05:16 AM
Hope you are feeling better soon. The fatigue and nausea with #2 was much harder for me too. The pregnancy also seemed to go by much more quickly than #1. Hang in there!
Posted by: tracy | March 24, 2006 at 05:47 AM
Have you spoken to your doctor about how awful you're feeling? If it's really bad nausea and vomiting, sometimes they can give you something. You shouldn't have to suffer so much! Do try to rest as much as possible. My first pregnancy was just awful for the first 3-4 months but it got much better after that. I hope you get over the bad part soon!
Posted by: kate | March 24, 2006 at 06:25 AM
hope you get more rest, i know what you mean-i'm knitting a sweater and only have one sleeve and a half to go but haven't had energy to finish.
i can't wait to see more of your"works of art".
my "soon to be 3" son looks at my tummy and pretends he has a baby in him too =)
Posted by: joyce | March 24, 2006 at 07:08 AM
The first trimester is the worst! I never had sickness, but I got migraine every night and had to go to bed for the first three months. Take care of yourself, and I hope you feel better starting NOW. ;)
Posted by: persephone | March 24, 2006 at 07:16 AM
Oh, it's got to be awful feeling like this and having to care for another child. I never had that experience, since I only had one. His little idea was so sweet and innocent!
Do take care of yourself. Poor darlin'.
Posted by: Norma | March 24, 2006 at 04:01 PM
There's nothing sweeter than kind, innocent words spoken from a wee one! :)
Posted by: Leslie | March 25, 2006 at 05:29 AM
I suffered from severe 'morning' (HA!) sickness that lasted nearly all the way through my second trimester with both my pregnancies. 'Is this your attempt to make me feel better?' you ask. No. It's just to say that other's have trod a similar miserable path as the one you're on right now. I always found that thought...that I wasn't alone and that there were other women out there who understood how much it could suck...somewhat comforting as I was heaving my brains out (the second time around with my two year old holding my hair out of my face for me). This too shall pass. The prize at the end will be precious even if the gestating wasn't.
Posted by: Sarah | March 25, 2006 at 12:20 PM
Feel better soon!
Posted by: Dacia | March 26, 2006 at 10:41 AM
Hope you are feeling chipper soon. Love your blog!
Posted by: Anna | March 27, 2006 at 09:14 PM
Thank you for sharing the very cute Turkish blog with us! One of my favorite blogs is actually a Turkish cooking blog in English, so you may find some yummy, comforting recipes there:
http://www.turkishcookbook.com
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Posted by: Bridget | March 28, 2006 at 07:26 AM