Le Yoyo

To those of you who wrote to me, thankyou. I know I closed comments, but I really did appreciate those who wrote privately.

I got through this week. And as a result I feel a little clearer, although the sadness and anxiety which has descended hasn't lifted much, I feel a little more 'even'. In the past I've spoken openly about depression, and particularly Post Natal Depression, but this time, I've just wanted to go away somewhere quiet and have my own space, and not talk to anyone about it. Which is possibly the worst thing you can do - bottle it all up, but it's the only thing I've wanted to do and I'm sorry if I don't elaborate more. I missed writing here. So I'm back. But you'll have to forgive me if some of the posts are jilted and a little lack lustre because the va va va boom isn't all there right now. In the background though, I have been plugging away at a few things, some of which I can show, and others I can't, and some I want to show but the raw materials are somewhere in a postal sorting office. I'll get to them all, soon.

Does anyone want to come and clean my house, and fix the toilet seat which has magically broken in the last 24 hours?

Comments

[Nichola]

It's nice to see you back! I wanted to email you but decided not to seeing as you'd closed your comments. I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling under the weather and i hope my Christmas cake cheered you up a little. ;-)

[moki]

I'm glad you're back! Keep your chin up :)

[Wren]

Really felt for you when I read your last post. I'm pleased that you have found a way back. If good wishes could be turned into practical acts your house would be cleaned and the toilet mended lickety-split.

[jess]

hello again! Missed your blog. And do take care.

[jussi]

it's nice having you back

[paula]

dont feel sad! excuse my english, but i live in argentina. anyway, i felt the same way when i had my first daughter... a little confused, a little angry with everything, this will go away and better things will come. you can be sure. meanwhile keep posting because its important for us... your readers. a big hugh!

[cari]

I would come over and clean for you in a heartbeat if you didn't live so damn far away.

Take care. You know where to find me if and when needed.

love love love

[kathi]

glad to have you back. sending you some positive vibes through the blogging universe.

[Kelli]

Hi there. I won't tell you, "Don't be sad!" or "Cheer up!" because I know how annoying those can be to read when you just need to work through a slump. Just know that I'm thinking about you and hope things seem a bit sunnier tomorrow.

[megan]

welcome back to blog-ville! i've lurked around your blog for a while -- i missed your posts...

[manda mcgrory]

It's good to have you back!

[Lee Ann]

Glad to see you back...I wasn't sure if I should write a private note, but please know that I've been thinking of you, hoping the fog lifts. Also that the toilet seat magically gets fixed. I, too, have struggled with depression on and off, and my heart goes out to you. Sending love and a great big hug your way, lovey.

[Brooke]

Glad to have you back! Hope you feel better soon.

[Jane]

Hi Alison, glad to see you are posting again. Hope things continue to get better. Love the little message photo.

And thanks for the brilliant Enid Blyton comment. It cracked me up.

[pyglet]

Hang in there! The clouds will pass and the sunshine will peek through again. Trust that the sun cannot help but shine. We just need to wait till the weather clears. Thoughts are with you :)

[Julia]

I'm so happy to see you writing. I tried to find your e-mail address when I saw that you had closed your comments and then couldn't, so I'm glad that they're open on this post.

I completely understand depression and how quickly it can sneak up on you, so I was pretty concerned for you. If you ever want to chat privately about it, you know where to find me. In the meantime, I think any communication - even the feeble, sporadic virtual kind - is better than none, so please try to keep chugging away on the blog. It will help you mend.

I'll be sending fixed-toilet thoughts your way!

[stace]

I've felt like solitude also lately, declining lunch invitations and shopping trips with friends. It's been a time to "clean up" things in the house and my mind. A time to be quieter and try to "hear" what messages come through. I too, have dealt with depression. Glad to see you posting again. I love your posts and your photos. Take care.

[sarah]

lovely to read your words again...

[joyce]

things will get better! look at all the support you have. best wishes...

[Samantha]

Hello - glad you made it back. Thinking god thoughts for you x

[yvette]

Glad to have you back, take care, and I hope you get your toilet seat fixed soon, I live in a house full of boys and when ours was broken, no-one really understood why I was so bothered!!!

[shobhana]

i think i know exactly how you feel. i've been going through something similar. it's a cyclical thing for me. a phrase that sticks in my mind when i'm feeling this way is, 'winter always turns to spring'. it gives me hope to know that my dreadful state of mind won't last forever! maybe it will give you a little hope, too!

[Nancy]

it's ok..it's ok...i like you all the ways you are. it takes a brave person to peer into the abyss.sometimes sensitive people need to withdraw but look at all the people who care about you. like me.

[amy k.]

sending big hugs glad you are back and "lack lustre" posts? wow, don't even think twice-this is your world, be as real as you want to be (or don't want to be, if you know what I mean. . )

[jacqueline]

keep your chin up alison. i know sometimes it is easier said and done. only 3 weeks ago i felt the dark clouds of depression hanging over my head...a combination of health issues and a romance gone sour. sometimes the best thing to do is just to acknowledge and respect what you are going through, and try to focus on the little things.

sending you good thoughts and wishes....xx