PLAYING IN ELYSIUM FIELDS

A few weeks ago I sat and made, very quickly, two pairs of pyjama pants - one for Pia and one for Max. Many years ago I bought fabric for just such occasions, and had some fabric given to me by Kelly, which I have had neatly tucked away....You know that kind of fabric. It was special. For no particular reason it was special. It was for something, no matter how far into the future that something might have been, and even if the something happened to be pyjama pants. Some of the fabric is discontinued, and by default it becomes even more special because of it's rarity now. Some of it I went out of my way to get - those special internet purchases which seem to carry far more weight than something purchased at the local fabric shop. I wavered before cutting into the fabric. I had so little....just enough. And true to form, I did mess up one cut and only just squeezed an extra piece out of it. The perils of cutting and planning at night when you're tired because you're being pestered by children for pyjama pants now. They love them. I would dearly love to photograph them. Max's I can. But haven't yet. Pia's....a wonderful Aronzi Aronzo fabric of little pastel cat illustrations....were very cute.

Except I can't for the life of me find them.

Nowhere in the house can I find them.

Nowhere in the laundry can I find them.

They have disappeared.

Completely.

Utterly.

Disappeared.

So I made another pair.

And if the story of the fabric on the first pairs was emotively driven, the story of this fabric almost made me weep when I cut into it. Part of a selection of fabrics by the now defunct Cotton Bow Wow in Japan, this was purchased well before I even considered having a second child. It was the beginning of my love affair with Nani Iro fabrics, having seen an amazing quilt made by Hillary. This beautiful elyisum field of soft coral flowers fabric has sat neatly folded and pressed in the box reserved for 'good' fabrics. Occasionally I would pull it out and try to imagine using it, but would quickly put it back, fearing to even cut it would be sacreligious. Such weight and emotional enormity we place on static inanimate objects in our lives...it's totally wrong. This fabric represented desire - for another child in the future who might be a girl. It came to represent the lightness of mothering, the joy of having a small version of myself running around, that airy fairy concept we sometimes have of sweetness and purity of small children. Their smiles, their curls. Their laughter. Yes, I think this fabric was about laughter. Lots of it. Pia and I haven't had much laughter recently. We have moments. But it sometimes doesn't feel like enough. We're both struggling with each other. A symptom of her age and our situation, and an interim period of time which will pass as she gets older and more independant and we once again find a new groove to live with. So to manufacture some laughter is something I do wholeheartedly, we'll take what we can get.

I wanted to make her simple pants to run and laugh in. For us to snuggle on the couch and read books in. That would have brightness and imagination poured into them. Something to capture her dreams each night in. My hands trembled a little at the point of cutting...such lovely soft fabric in such a beautiful design. But they're done. She's wearing them. She gasped [she's easily pleased at least!]. They are so adorable. The lost ones can miraculously turn up now [please?].

And now I've lost one of her shoe laces.

And the fuel cap for the car.

Comments

[Jussi]

beautiful!

shoe lace - cat?
petrol cap - gas station...

[cherrie]

You write so beautifully. I had a laugh about the disappearing pants. My first child managed to hide my baby silver spoon so well that even when I left and raised all the possible carpet edges it could not be found. And she was only nine months and crawling when she did it. Gorgeous elysium filds material.

[di]

Well, you made me laugh. I hope the little cat ones re-materialise!

[carlene]

Gorgeous, and a great post.

[Sarah]

I saw these on Flickr and actually thought to myself, "I hope that fabric is still made." Alas...

[kate]

I can just see little Pia, in her new strides,with that cheeky whimiscal little smile of hers. How Maddie & I will miss it.

[Jeanette]

I have a box for "good" fabric too. This post really struck a chord with me. Waiting patiently for my new baby to arrive and wondering which of the "good" fabrics I'll get to use.

[charlotte]

i love that fabric. and the coral - oh!
hooray for little pyjama pants.

[annri]

such pretty pants! a good use of such special fabric - what a lucky girl (again!) i recently sewed double-gauze for the first time and look forward to more!

as for the other pants - maybe hiding in a pillowcase? the bedclothes? good mystery.

[maya]

Such gorgeous fabric and even more gorgeous pants! I really enjoy reading your blog and I know the reason for that! It's your enchanting style... of everything...
My compliments!

[Linda]

Such lovely fabric ... I hope you don't lose anything else!

[joyce]

those are truly adorable!!

[Jean]

Sounds like motherhood to me. Lovely busy times fully of joy and some trials. You are creating such lovely memories for you and your children to be enjoyed both now and in the future.

[kimberly]

Perhaps Pia has a hiding spot? When my little A was only 12mths he found his very own Nest. He would collect his 'treasures' and hide them in the hole in the front of the "Subwoofer". I would have to empty it while he slept so as not to spoil his fun ;-) I hope they turn up really soon.

[corrie]

gorgeous! love that fabric!!!! I had to resist buying bolts and bolts of nani iro at the trade show but the colours were all dark and that is just adorable!

everything turns up in our house, eventually...like when you don't need it anymore!!!!!

Corrie:)

[Stephanie]

you selling any of these little wonders on etsy? there's a little girl and boy close to my heart who I think would love these... and coffee/catch-up????
Stephanie

[Tammy]

Those pants are so adorable. I love the print.

I can relate to your fear of cutting into treasured fabric. I have a piece of fabric that I bought in 1987 or 1988 that I paid $75/yard for. I have never paid so much for fabric before or since. It is a beautiful wool challis in black and lapis blue. It sits in my mother's cedar chest waiting for the day that I find the perfect pattern and have the courage to make that first cut. :-)

[urban craft]

There is a land somewhere where all cute things get snatched into. Of course those pants would be there. You may not ever get them back and even I want a pair. Just lovely.

[amisha]

i have a box of fine white cotton and wool that has very similar hopes and dreams tucked away in its folds... it's hard to even pull back the tissue. one day i will just have to go for it, i think.
i hope that these (beautiful!) pajama pants bring some of those sweet moments of laughter. i know that they will. that nani iro is special indeed! (i'm still trying to cut into my bag of fabrics carted home from tokyo as well... thinking about a quilt)
xox