re: GENERATION

 

I've wanted to write all week, but nothing I want to say is right. I am trespassing.

I have no words.

No words for the extremes of natural destruction across our country. No words for the innocence lost. I feel pain for those whose lives need to be rebuilt. Not just bricks and mortar. But the emotional healing which will take the rest of their lifetime. It's that which I feel for most. The loss, stress, frustration, anger, sadness, trauma, horror which will play through the heads of everyone affected by the fires. I fear for the response of social workers, or the passage of time when everyone else has moved on, the camera crews have gone elsewhere, and they're left. I hope, how I hope, that as a country, we find a way to embrace those communities, and give them the long term support they will need, long after the tv crews have gone, the rubble cleared, and the new homes appear.

I have realised intensely, that I - we - live in a bubble of isolation. My world is very limited. My day to day live is small and focused on our immediate neighbourhood. We have our set routines, dictated by need, and we're fine with that most of the time. My head though, remains firmly floating somewhere above the earth, seeking new places, new experiences, open to other places to exist in. There are parts of me left all over the world. Sometimes they only exist as memories. Sometimes as reality in the form of buildings. Sometimes as friendships. The big scale of our existence - there, omnipresent.

 We live on.

I have thought very much this week, about minutiae of existence. About what it means to have, to loose, to rebuild. To reinvent. I wanted very much to write something positive, which focused beyond this week. That this moment of intensity will pass. And then how we progress through that is far more important. There are choices. And chances. There are opportunities. What comes is a period of renewal. A process of regeneration - physical, mental, spiritual. The bushfires have done exactly what the australian bush is designed to do. Burn. And regenerate. Life will blossom. *

Seeds will open.

* I've delberately spoken in extremely general terms. I have even less comprehensible words for those who deliberately and maliciously start fires, for those who take opportunity and loot burnt out houses, who feed off the sorrow of others, who thought it would be great to drive up and see the horror themselves as a daytrip. I am acutely aware of the immense pain many people are going through. I've sat my vigil out waiting to hear in the past as well. And I've seen the regeneration that occurs afterwards. We need, as a country and a community, to focus longterm. 3 months. 12 months. 5 years. And to find life amongst the embers.

There are a number of art and craft auctions raising money for the bushfires if you would like to contribute in a positive way. Michelle is auctioning one of her beautiful paintings, Leonie is auctioning a Lithograph, and there is a great site for how you can help in other ways here.

Comments

[Rachel]

Mmm It's so traumatic, so horrifying. It's very hard to think of re-generation while some fires still burn.

The Bush will be green and thriving long before the victims of the fire have properly come to terms with what has happened.

As for your post script. I know. Disgusted is the word I favour right now.

[tyler]

a poignant post. i am so sorry to hear of the news as i sit helplessly many miles away. i do appreciate your sentiment of recognizing the minutia of existence. profoundly powerful. i will think of life blooming again and send my well wishes your way.

[cherrie]

People will for the most part regenerate but each in their own time and way. Many weird, strange, reclusive, etc, etc, people around us even now are in fact trying to come to terms with their individual traumas. That is why it is so necessary not to judge peole according to our own standards. Thankyou for writing this. Cherrie

[Bertha]

I think all of us have been watching this unfold with feelings of extreme sadness and helplessness. I know I'm keeping my Australian friends close to my heart.

[MIchelle]

It is staggering for so many reasons isn't it.

The lives and communities lost, the tragic waste, the stories of terror and triumph. And the generosity. Of spirit, of community, of people pulling together, the volunteering and donations, and all of us reaching out to one another.

I am in tears throughout the days for joy and sadness and guilt at being Ok and comfortable. And in think the regeneration lies in this - in those glimmers of beauty amongst the ashes and the profound effect this terrible tragedy will have on us as a nation for a very long time. After the immense grieving is over.

Thanks for the links. Hope you are doing OK.

[pinry]

You say you have no words, but you have beautifully and sensitively expressed the horror, sadness, outrage, guilt and hope that we all must feel. Thank you, Alison.

[Jo Spittler]

Your words touch.
The floating sensation (to be all over the earth) - so well known.
The (natural) fires reminding us of our utter powerlessness.
This, too, will pass.
As will all the many small day to day upheavals we never even hear of.

All the very best,
Jo

[Teresa]

The stories coming across the Tasman have been horrendous to read. My heart goes out to you all.

[britt]

my heart, thoughts and prays go out to all of you over there. and may those who feed off of the destruction get their come uppins!

[amélie]

from the other site of the world, know that my thoughts have gone to your counrty this past week.
courage à vous tous !
Amélie

[Nancy]

your words are well put allison... as always. you seem to know what to say even though you don't think so. i admire that about you.

i loathe how people seem to see horror as excitement as you describe the daytrips which reminds me of how on the way home from our honeymoon in italy in sept 2001 4 days after 9/11 mick and i were flying into newark airport and the other passengers were so excited to look out the window and see the devastation while i was crying and refused to look.

[charlotte]

I have absolutely no words for what's happened. It's all so very difficult to comprehend. I saw some footage on the guardian which left me simply speechless and still unable to comprehend.

You've written beautifully.
Life is.

[charlotte]

Seeds will open. Yes. Indeed. We learned that at aromatherapy college – that through the fires the seeds can germinate.

Life most certainly is.
And you are everywhere :)

[Melanie]

We live in a fragile place, yet believe that we live with solidity, safety, comfort. We are vulnerable to the vicissitudes of nature and climate, which these terrible fires so powerfully illustrate. This is preying on my mind, as well as the destruction and suffering.

[Susan]

I have felt so, so sorry for everyone caught in this tragedy

[snowflake]

Thanks for your post. It just made me smile.

Seeds will open.
Yes. They will.

Cheers.
Angelika