I've hit a slump. I thought it would have passed by now. But it hasn't, and I'm starting to fret. I own a lot of wool. It overflows out of boxes, and surrounds me. Sometimes, I think it taunts me. I think I know what I'll do with each and every ball of wool. And when I hear that siren call to take up a particular ball and start knitting, I obey, and up till now I'll be quite happy, knowing my intuition has made the right choice for me.
But recently I've encountered a slight problem. The desire for my little hands to rip out every stitch after 5cm, and frog the lot in the frog pond. I've been getting restless, needing to cast on, then getting bored instantly with what I'm knitting. And then that gives way to utter despair that I wont get anything done ever again, except baby kimono jackets, which, while eternally beautiful and stunning particularly on small babies, are not what I want to post about every week. And so begins a mammoth obsessed hunt for a new delight - wool, pattern, item. This week it's been sock yarn and socks. Not at all helped by the beautiful stashes found at Di's, and Blossom's, and a deep desire to need to have to try Mountain Color Bearfoot sock yarn.
But did you think I'd wait till the yarn arrived? (don't you love the fact I swap languages half way through - calling it wool in the first half, and yarn in the second. What can I say, I'm confused, and pond water dulls the brain, and you should try working with me where my language is all over the place having worked for British, Australian and American companies in the last 4 years all with different architectural terminology). No. I decided I'd 'practise' - yes, I truly believed that when I wrote it too - socks on 2 circular needles. And I cast on with Cherry Tree Hill Potluck sock yarn in a jewel colour, which looked rich and luscious on the ball, and looked like sludge knitted up, and I'm getting the jitters again.
It's coming up to that 5cm mark, and I want to frog. The truth is I have already frogged once. Why I thought I should believe a pattern which says cast on 72 stitches for socks for me I have no idea. I keep thinking there's a better outcome with another yarn, that if I frog it and start again it will work better, be more perfect, be more stunning, the pattern more coherent...
But it doesn't end there, socks are just the tip of the iceberg. A month ago it was scarf patterns that caused me to cast on, and frog, around 4 different types of wool. Now I'm having World Shopping jitters. Because in 50 days I'll be somewhere in London, and I'll be wanting to buy yarn because it's so much darn cheaper there than here, and I'll be buying pattern books (you know, the same darn cheaper reason), and what if I can't decide, or loose my confidence, and walk away with nothing. And I'll be in Paris, and what if the same thing happens then? Then, how will I cope with being in NY, and standing in Habu and Purl and wanting desperately to buy (there are things there with My Name On Them thankyou very much, so nobody go and buy My Things, please), but getting nauseous because I might need to frog every piece of wool in my house, and bag, and in the entire store.......in fact, what if I have to frog every single piece of wool (I've reverted to english again) in the whole world, because I'm restless?
It's very involved being me.